Written by: Suzanne Roberts, Social Emotional Learning Specialist We have now been home together, albeit separately, for nine weeks. Much has changed in that time and we are coping as well as we can, while knowing that things may be different again tomorrow and we will need to adapt once more. This can feel exhausting or even overwhelming. For this reason, we continue thinking together about the things that can help us to take care of ourselves and those we love, as we grow in resilience. Today, we add “watering the helpful seeds” to the strategies we have considered and may be practicing. This is a practice that helps us be a bit more conscious of the things in our lives to which we are giving our attention and energy, and making some adjustments if we need to do so. As we have considered before, what we are focusing on makes a big difference in how we feel. This is another way of fine-tuning that focus. An excellent way for us to think about watering the helpful seeds is to review the Cherokee story of the two wolves fighting within us. Many of us have heard this tale, but it may have been some years back at this point. It warrants a bit of a refresher: While I may think more in terms of helpful and less helpful than good and evil, this tale helps us to reflect upon what we are feeding. Or, in terms of watering the helpful seeds, what we are watering. Are we watering and encouraging growth in the things that help us and make us more able to adapt and grow? Or are we watering the things that make us more upset and afraid? It matters significantly because the seeds we water are the seeds that grow. What do we want to grow – our sense of hope or our sense of fear? We may have both and need both, but which do we want to be central? Making decisions about what we seeds we are watering can help us tip the balance in a way that improves our sense of well-being. We may want to think about what are we focusing on – what are we watering?
What are the things that you are doing right now to help you and your family cope with our changing world? Our answers to this question will vary, but might include:
Of course this list could go on for pages. The truth is that there are many ways that we can and do take care of ourselves and grow in resilience, even while we move through difficult and unprecedented times. Watering the helpful seeds means thinking of what things you are doing, whether you need to do more of them, and if you could benefit by adding some new ones. While it may be true that we are all doing the best we can at any given time, it is also true that we tend to drop a helpful practice when we are busy, distracted, or stressed. So, reevaluating whether there are some helpful seeds that need watering is important work. The second part of this process then is considering the seeds that are less helpful. What are the things you are doing right now that instead of helping you to cope and grow in hope, are leading to more distress and fear? If we are honest with ourselves, there are probably a few weeds in our gardens that we may want to pull – or at least water less frequently. Again, the list here is diverse for different people, but we are often aware for example of an increase in anxiety after too much time spent ingesting media or of the spike in irritability following night(s) of poor or not enough sleep. Are there things that you are doing that you recognize as less than helpful that you could spend less time doing? So, it can be helpful to take a moment of reflection from time to time. Consider what is working well and what is not. And then concentrate anew on watering the helpful seeds. =) Comments are closed.
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